you missed the SSN one that explains this one. Funny I never remembered owning a watch. Please note only a few of those were written by me more are from people all over the world.
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This is one I did. It was like payback
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Drizzt's gets even Bar-be-que Style
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Jazelle: "Hum, something smells good. What are you cooking?"
Drizzt: "Since you have been so nice letting me sleep here I wanted to make dinner."
Jazelle: "Myron showed you how to use the Bar-be-que?" Very happy that Drizzt didn't start a wood fire on the stove again like last time when he wanted to cook breakfast.
Drizzt: "Yep, it's more my style."
Jazelle:"Nice what is it?"
Drizzt: "Oh, something that was running around here."
Jazelle:"Ah, hold that thought."
Jazelle quickly runs into the house and starts to count all the pets. Finds all 3 cats, 3 rats, 2 dogs and 2 hamsters. She sighs in relief. Goes back outside.
Jazelle: Ah, how did you kill it?"
Drizzt: "Used your cross bow that was in the closet."
Jazelle: "What did it look like before you started cooking it?"
Drizzt: "Oh, black with a white strip down it's back."
Jazelle:"It didn't meow did it?"
Drizzt: "No I came across something like it before. It kind of hissed and had this really bad smelling fur."
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Here is the SSN one
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Drizzt SSN:333-666-4356
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At the Social Security Office:
Jazelle: "Ok since your staying here for a while you will need some ID.
Drizzt: "What is Id?"
Jazelle: "A little card you need to show people that you are you."
Drizzt: "Well I'm there so why do I need a card that saids I'm me?"
Jazelle: "Well they need to be sure you are you."
Drizzt: "But I know I'm me - arn't I?"
Jazelle: "It will make things easier like getting a job or buying foo.......ah, stuff."
Drizzt: "Job? Stuff? What is that?"
Jazelle: "Well a job is something you do for someone and they pay you. Stuff is--"
Drizzt: "Oh, like that nice lady some guy was giving that paper stuff you call money to down the street?"
Jazelle: "Ah, not quite he was-- ah, paying her rent kinda of."
Drizzt: "Oh, can I pay her rent?"
Jazelle: "NO, she's a...." Jazy Leans over and wispers in Drizzt's ear.
Drizzt: "Oh, you mean she's a whore!"
Jazelle: "Shhhhhs not so loud. "
Everyone looks at Jazelle and Drizzt. Jazelle picks up a newspaper and tries to hid behind it.
Drizzt: "Well she is paid so that is a job right?"
Jazelle: "Let's drop the subject please."
Clerk: "Next!"
Jazelle: "That's us follow me and don't speak---unless I tell you to -- Please."
Drizzt: "I'm confused how is what she does not a job?"
Jazelle: "Something to do with declaring her income to the goverment and it has a really bad retirement plan. Now Shhhhs."
People are still looking daggers at Jazelle and Drizzt as they walk over to the counter.
Clerk: "How can I help you?"
Jazelle: "We need to get a Social Security Card for Drizzt here."
Cerk: "Name?"
Jazelle: "Drizzt Do'Urden ah---- Rust.
Clerk: "Ok date of birth?
Drizzt: "---------"
Jazelle: "You can talk to her... speak."
Drizzt: "1297."
Clerk: "Huh? No, I mean year day and month."
Jazelle: "It's a religion thing you know they work on a different calendar. That would be ah..." She looks at Drizzt and makes up a number. "!950, October 31st."
Clerk: "Ok, what city was he born?
Drizzt: "Oh, I can answer this one. Menzoberranzan in the Underdark."
Jazelle: "Oh how cute he's been reading books and well just loves playing D&D with us all. He means New York City here in the USA."
Clerk: "Address?" Jazelle tells her the address and city.
Clerk: "Hum, ok do you have a birth certificate?"
Drizzt: "A wha......@#$@#$@#" Jazelle stomps on his right foot.
Jazelle: "Well you see he is from one of those up state communes and they didn't record births there and the commune broke up and well simple there is no record of his birth."
Clerk: "Oh, well are you related?"
Jazelle looks over Drizzt who is now sitting down nursing his foot.
Jazelle: "Yes he's a long lost brother. My father like to get around a lot."
Clerk: Grins "Ah, ok well sign this paper."
Jazelle quickly signs her life away and a possible jail term of not less than 10 years with a sigh.
Clerk: "All right here is your temporay card make sure he signs it."
Drizzt: "I have a question?"
Clerk: "Yes."
Drizzt: "Why is being a whore not consittered a job?"
Jazelle stomps on Drizzt's left foot as she drags him out of the SSN office muttering to herself.
